


Man of Action

by SueDeeNimh



Series: SPN Masquerade 2020 Fills [2]
Category: Hulk (2003), Supernatural, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Incredible Hulk (2008)
Genre: Awkward morning after, Consensual But Not Safe Or Sane, Crack, M/M, SPN Masquerade Kink Meme, Size Difference, because Dean had to be getting DPed regularly for this to work, implied wincestiel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-18
Updated: 2020-04-18
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:48:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,794
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23724829
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SueDeeNimh/pseuds/SueDeeNimh
Summary: DEAN/HULK THAT'S IT THAT'S THE STORYa great time is had by alland then the next morning Bruce is very embarrassed towards Dean, but they work it out!
Relationships: Bruce Banner/Dean Winchester, Hulk (Marvel)/Dean Winchester
Series: SPN Masquerade 2020 Fills [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1707316
Comments: 5
Kudos: 34
Collections: SPN_Masquerade Spring 2020





	Man of Action

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: _Dean getting fucked by any Avenger. Getting pegged by Natasha. Or riding Thor. Or fucked over Tony Stark’s car. Or bringing out Steve’s dominant side. Or Hulk finding the tiny human surprisingly attractive and making him his little sex-pet, much to Bruce’s mortification. Go wild._
> 
> Me: God, nonnie, thank you for this prompt! It is a TRAVESTY that Hulk/Dean has never been tagged on AO3 before!

"Something's disturbing cattle pastures over in Iowa," Sam had said that morning. "Wanna check it out?"

Dean, a man of action, had said, "Sure, let’s hit the road."

"You didn't tell me," Dean hissed at Sam now, "Hey, Dean, the Incredible Hulk is disturbing cattle pastures. You did not say that, Sam."

"Okay, sorry, so I missed a clue or two," Dean could practically hear Sam rolling his eyes over the cell line. Out in the field, the eight-foot-tall green rage machine was chasing cows kind of moodily and also not wearing any pants. "Just wait up for me, I'll come back and get you, and we can kick this up to whoever's actual job it is to keep track of off-duty superheroes…"

"I'm going in," Dean said. Was the Hulk actually trying to fuck that cow? No way. "I've always wanted to meet the Hulk, Sam, ever since I was a kid, you know that. This could be my one chance."

"Dean, don't be stupid! What am I supposed to tell Cas if you die?"

"Tell him he's the second-best boyfriend a guy could ever ask for, and that I died doing what I love," Dean said, eyes on the muscle-bound shape before him, who had turned so that his erect penis was clearly visible even from half the field away. "Earth's Mightiest deserves better than a damn cow, and if anybody’s ass is prepared for this mission, I think it’s mine.”

“Don’t hang up, what the fuck? Dean, you’re never touching my dick again if you die without me!” Sam was upset and Dean could hear the sound of the car engine revving but he snapped the phone closed anyway. Some things were too important to hesitate about.

* * *

“Hulk fuck,” the Hulk said, but he sounded almost sulky and Dean got the impression that the cows weren’t really doing it for him. 

Dean stopped a few car-lengths away and took off his flannel shirt. “Hey, big guy, you look like you could use a break from that, am I right?” He took off his middle shirt, too, adding a sexy shimmy. Finally, the t-shirt under that got whipped behind him with a flourish. 

Hulk was looking at him interestedly. So far, so good. “You want fuck?” Hulk asked, and yes! They were off to the races. 

“Can you do it without breaking me? I’m just a human,” Dean asked, to quiet the Sam-voice yammering in his head. 

“Hulk careful,” the giant green hunk said, perking up. “Banner not believe, say Hulk go fuck cow, but Hulk not animal.”

Well, despite Hulk's indignance, the cows all seemed to be fine. They were huddled over on the other side of the field, as far away as they could get. Dean eyed the size of the package he was volunteering himself for, and licked his lips. “I think you could be a really awesome fuck, Hulk,” he said honestly, and dropped his jeans, kicking off the rest of his clothes until he was naked. 

Hulk bounded suddenly over to him, covering most of the ground in a single big leap. 

Dean tried not to flinch back. Hulk was really damn huge, that was the only thing…at least eight feet tall, must be, and almost as wide. His cock was...proportionate.

Dean _did_ recoil without meaning to when the Hulk reached out and picked him up, massive hands going around Dean’s waist without any trouble and then Dean was just being lifted like he weighed no more than a doll. But the hands held him securely whether or not he flailed a little so he took a deep breath and settled in. He still had one fist clenched around what had been in his pants pocket. “Hey, I've got some lube here, big guy."

"Okay," Hulk grunted. "Hurry." He lowered Dean until Dean's feet touched the ground again and he could easily wrap his hands around the Hulk's cock, standing stiff and ready. Dean coated his palms in the lube—might as well use all of it, for this—and got to work, sliding the lub up and down the shaft, coating the head…

"Mmm. Good," Hulk said. His big hands started stroking down Dean's back to his ass. Soon enough, one finger discovered that Dean was already slippery back there, from the early morning fuck he'd had with Sam. "You already ready?"

"Pretty close," Dean rumbled. Hulk's...hulk was shiny and dripping with lube. Dean quickly reached behind himself to apply what was left to his own ass, twisting his fingers in to give himself a quick stretch. It was a wonder what regular sex did in terms of not having to loosen up as much, but for this...he looked at the very large cock waving very close to his face once more, pulled his rim as wide as he could with his fingers, and took a deep breath. "Okay, lift me up there, let's do this thing."

But Hulk paused. "Name?" he asked.

Dean blinked. Of course. Hulk was kinda inarticulate, but he wasn't an animal and Dean was an ass. "Sorry, fuck. I already knew you're the Hulk, but it just didn't occur to me...I'm Dean. Dean Winchester."

"Good. Dean," the Hulk said, rolling it around in his mouth, and then he lifted Dean just like Dean had asked and sank his ass down on that enormous fucking dick.

Dean gasped as he felt it pressing him wide from the inside and wrapped his legs around the Hulk's hips, arms around his forearms, steadying himself as he tried to breathe through it. He loved this feeling, the feeling of having something not his own invading his body, pressuring his limits, that almost-pain stretch. He groaned and leaned forward enough to bury his face in the Hulk's shoulder. "Wow, you're big," he mumbled, kinda stupidly. But hey, if he couldn't say stupid things now, when could he?

Hulk made a pleased sort of sound. "Feel good." He took one hand off of Dean—Dean slid a couple more inches down and groaned—and gently tipped Dean's face up with the tip of one finger. "Look good, too. Dean. Pretty human."

"Pretty?" Dean tried to muster his indignation. "Yeah, whatever. Right back atcha, muscles. Now fuck me already."

Hulk gave him a broad grin, not the least bit offended, probably because no one had ever tried to call him pretty before. "Okay," he said, and started to move.

* * *

Dean woke up with a great deal of hay in his face, a pleasantly sore ass, and a warm body behind him. It was dark, warm, and had a rough indoor feel...a barn? He opened his eyes, spat out hay, and rolled over. Definitely a barn. He vaguely remembered Hulk carrying him off to it in a huff after noticing that Sam had turned up and was video-recording them, undoubtedly for nefarious uses later. 

The warm body beside him wasn't nearly big enough to be the Hulk though. Dean turned to look.

"I'm sorry, who are you?" The mild-mannered and very human guy was blinking up at Dean, obviously just waking up. He didn't panic, which said he was used to waking up in strange circumstances, but he looked like he wanted to, which probably said that he didn't get laid enough.

"I'm Dean Winchester," Dean introduced himself for the second time, giving his very best, most charming smile. "And you must be the Hulk's alter-ego."

"Bruce Banner." Dean's most charming smile didn't _always_ work. The one he got in return was brief and forced. "I'm really very sorry, I think I'd better go," the man whose face looked a lot like the Hulk's, except leaner and less green, said, flailing a little as he tried to extricate himself. 

Dean leaned up on his elbow and watched. There was a complete lack of pants, or any other clothes, with them in the barn, but Bruce felt around them in the dimness for quite some time before he seemed to accept that. He sat back and sighed, looked at Dean, then did a double-take. "I know why _I'm_ naked, but why are _you_ naked? Oh god, I probably don't want to know, do I?"

"Depends," Dean said thoughtfully. "Can you shed any light on why the Hulk was looking for love in a cow pasture today?"

Bruce buried his head in his hands. "Please kill me now." Then he jerked his head up hastily and said, "That was a joke, please don't try to kill me, you wouldn't like what happens."

Dean smiled, slow and luxurious. "Oh I don't know, I think I might. Last night was _fantastic."_

Bruce looked at him then, really looked at him, instead of leaping to conclusions. "Okay, can we back up for a minute? Back to who are you, exactly, and why aren't you freaked out?"

"Don't worry, I'm a professional," Dean said as seriously as he could, which wasn't very.

Bruce looked pale. "A prostitute? Did someone send you?"

"No, nothing like that," Dean said, sighing. "I track down monsters professionally. Me and my brother were looking into your cattle disturbances, and as soon as I saw it was the Hulk, well, I would have minded my own business, but you—he—looked like he could use some company, so I volunteered." He slanted a look over at Bruce. "Everything was completely consensual."

"Do you have any idea how insanely fucking stupid...the risk...he could have killed you!" Bruce really definitely did not get laid enough, Dean decided.

"Hey," he reached a hand out and turned Bruce's face towards him. "We got along great. Stupid risks are kind of my schtick. Wouldn't mind doing it again sometime." And then he closed the distance, carefully so he didn't startle the other man, and pressed his lips to Bruce's. "Anytime."

Bruce gaped at Dean's face. "You're like, model hot," he realized out loud. Dean blamed the lack of light for it taking this long. "You could have anybody, anybody who wasn't the Hulk…"

"Big fan since I was a kid," Dean admitted, then looked around for a distraction. "You want to try and find some breakfast? I swear I could eat a cow right about now."

Bruce finally stopped freaking out and laughed. Maybe a bit too hard, but Dean wasn't going to hold it against him. "No cows. Clothes first, crazy man. Then something cooked."

Dean grinned. "Bacon? Bacon's always good." He got up and looked out the hayloft window. "I think the sun's coming up, we should get a move on if we want to steal some clothes without being noticed."

"Borrow," Bruce corrected, sighing.

"Borrow without permission," Dean agreed. "Then we can hit the road."


End file.
